I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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