I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
