Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
