I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
