we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
