We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
