So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
