...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
