Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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