we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
