half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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