I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
