i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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