it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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