Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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