Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize