is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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