I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
