She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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