Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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