Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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