God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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