called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
