literally had 100 drinks last night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
