Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
