so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just tell him i said nine months
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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