about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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