it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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