youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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