this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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