I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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