you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have post one night stand depression
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