doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
