he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
