...so i touched it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
