Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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