Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
