Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
