Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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