Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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