Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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