he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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