My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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