they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
