A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize