they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
