meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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