My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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