There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
