What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
whose parrot is this?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
