I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
