She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
