The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
