I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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