she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
