Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
