I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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