we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
