Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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