I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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