I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
NoShamevember. You game?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
